In todays world ‘sanskari’ bahus are as endangered as a black buck. Mothers all over the world have tried and failed to find the perfect daughter-in-law for their eligible sons. Even marriagable girls have been rejected by several families for reasons most of you do not comprehend.
So as a favor to those girls who do not understand what went wrong, here is a list of things that you should follow which will make you the ultimate ‘sanskari’ girl.
This is the first and foremost thing that you should keep in mind. A family’s respect lies on the kees of the girl. If you are of marriageable age, chuck out all your clothes and wear only salwar kameez or saris. Because stomach seen through a sari is sanskari while stomach through crop tops are… ‘tauba tauba’.
2. Skin Color
Though we do not have control over it, a girl should strive to be fair. Dair skinned women are not considered marriagable. How else would you be a trophy wife? Apply lemon juice or potato juice on your skin daily. If that does not work, walk to your nearest temple barefoot and leave all your life savings there. If that does not work either, peel off your skin.
Now this is an important one. For this one, you will need a lot of super glue. Apply super glue generously on your palms and stick them together. That way you are always greetings ready. Repeat the same process on the legs and stick them together. Parting legs are not considered sanskari. Or you can also stich your legs together, or just wear a potato sack.
It really does not matter what your CV says. You must make the best tea on earth. You should be able to cook all Indian cuisines. Cooking should be your life and passion. After all, ‘the way to a man’s heart is his stomach’. Sewing too. What if there is a loose button on your husband’s shirt? Who would fix it?
5. Art Of Speech
It is important that you are soft-spoken. Anything above 30 decibels is unacceptable. Even if you burn your finger in the flames of hell, whisper your scream. Slangs are a strict no-no. Not that your opinion is important, but if asked, be sure to nod yes. Nod! Condition your face to always smile. No smile, no marriage.
Bow and touch everyone’s feet. You family, his family, the gardener, newspaper boy, milkman… Offer to eat only after the family is done. Left-overs are what sanskari girls hope for. Do not dare to go to malls or movies. That is not sanskari.
If you ever want a husband, say no to boyfriends. A man may have girlfriends but a girl with a past is the worst thing that a man could have in a wife. It is okay to live with a perfect stranger and have their babies. That is sanskari. As long as the stranger is your husband.
8. Daily activities
Pooja and aarti is important. No pooja skills, no husband. Also, waking up at 5 am to make breakfast for your husband and 20 odd people is a daily chore that has to be done. No questions asked.
No alcohol or smokes for women. They are bad for the race. Men are perfectly immune to their effects. Make love to your mocktails ladies. Whisky ain’t for us.
10. Pati-parmeshwar(Read: Husband)
His word is law. Do not do anything without his permission. Not even breather. Don’t dare to even call your parents. Basically do nothing by yourself in general. If he asks you to leave your job, know that because it is family over career for you and not because they have inferiority issues and are scared you might do better than them.