Sometimes I really wonder why do I need to ever get married.
I, a 24 year old urban girl, pursuing MBA, from one of the best cities of India, am fully contended with my life. I have a wonderful family, the best father, to send me sufficient money at the beginning of every month, the best mother to support me with every decision I make, the best sister, to keep all my secrets to herself and the best bunch of friends.
Like every other college going girl, my life is quite routinized and yet happy. I get up early in the morning, drag myself to college, concentrate in the classes, come back home and relax. But this is something which every girl does. What makes me happy is how different I actually am, by being so imperfect. How it doesn’t really matter the way I do my hair, the way I dress up for my comfort or the way people think of me.
I consider myself to be an expert at the ‘art of doing Nothing,’ absolutely Nothing! I am gender unbiased about my friends and love being with them, talking to them, all the time. Love talking on the phone. Hate cooking, hate getting up early on Sundays. I hate being responsible. Love going out anywhere in my shorts, love adventure. I love reading. Novels. Love Stories. I love ‘How I met your mother’ and can spend hours watching it, without the blink of an eye. Love making myself comfortable at one place and can carry on doing so, for an infinite time, until it becomes more of a necessity. I don’t believe much in love. Love being single and live my life my way, no matter how cliched it sounds.
And then a sudden thought crosses my mind, being born in India, and having being raised in Indian middle class family, following the elderly sanskars, someday, I will HAVE TO get married. And that, is not even an option, it is more like a conviction. Like a belief- you breathe to live, you marry to be happy. And that makes me loose that every single thing that defines my happiness, that defines ‘being Me’. What if I don’t marry? Or rather I should be thinking what could be the probable reasons that would make me take the big step:
- My parents think I should get married.
- I am in the marriageable age(whatever that is supposed to mean)
- My friends and cousins are getting married (a couple of them even started having kids!!! creepy!!).
- The society expects this of me (getting married is a social duty)
- Because ‘log kyakahenge’(I saved this epic one for the last…as if my marriage benefits them more)
So then I, being a girl, HAVE TO get married. Doesn’t matter if I am ready for it or not. Doesn’t matter if I really want it or not. The society follows its timetable very sternly and marriage is of course a part of it. Then comes the kids shortly and after that we all know how life goes on. We pass on the same values to our kids to fulfill their duty to this very society and expecting them to achieve that everything that we could not, pushing them to this same well of competition.
It’s a tradition, a ritual that has been passed to us by our ancestors and I don’t have the right to raise an eyebrow, let alone standing on the other side of it. That’s the way, it has always been, who questions those traditions.And Because the majority follows it,it is right. Doesn’t matter if it is right for me. Doesn’t matter if I amright for it.Because we are Indians and we don’t fight back our elders. And this is what makes us better off than the West, where relationships are weak and divorce rates are high. Atleast here in India, the statistics do not show big numbers for divorces, afterall it’s a tough decision to make here. Not because that love is stronger, but because divorce is still a taboo in our country, many women are not financially independent and because some parents won’t accept their daughters back.
So my friends,which is a wiser choice to make, being in a sad married life, losing all your liberty, being frustrated with every passing day for being in a wrong relationship and coming back at your parents’ home with a couple of kids and an irreparable scar in your heart ORthe other option being,leading a stable and independent life forever. Getting to Be ‘YOU’ Forever.
And that is how my dears, we make marriage a social obligation, because it is our happy land (at least that is what we have always been taught), and to reach the happy land, what do we do. Yes you guessed it right. We get married!